


Life's a Party, and We're Making It Fun

by ParamedicMegan



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Chirrut is a little bit of a jerk, Except Cassian is implied to be the same age as them, M/M, Meet Cute???, Meet-Cute, Mentions of Sexual Content, Poor Baze, Young space dads, not beta read we die like procrastinators, unrealistic portrayals of life with disability
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-04
Updated: 2017-04-04
Packaged: 2018-10-14 16:20:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10540110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ParamedicMegan/pseuds/ParamedicMegan
Summary: For the 2017 Spiritassassin fic exchangeBaze makes a purchase. It really isn't going to be a great story for how he and Chirrut first met. At least they will always have something to laugh about...





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BitterRose13](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BitterRose13/gifts).



> The name is literally just Spencer's most recent slogan, because I am the W O R S T at names.
> 
> You'd think the most unrealistic part is Chirrut never having been yelled at for his antics before, but actually, the unrealistic part is that his break is more than fifteen minutes long. *finger guns* It highlights how I have an inability to take anything seriously, but hey. I'm sure there will be some angst posted for this that needs offset? Just... Just take it and don't look at me.

After research, careful deliberation, and taking into account the other expenses he would amass from the purchase, he decided on the ‘ _American Bombshell_ ’ 8 inch dildo.

It was ridiculous- Baze hasn’t even put this much thought into buying his first car. It hasn’t mattered- He could fix anything. This… He wasn’t stupid, he understood how it _should_ work, and yet this shaped piece of _ridiculously colored_ rubber had him at a loss.

He looked around the room nervously. The store, some American chain store called ‘Spencer’s’, was tucked away in a corner of the mall, away from the easily offended sensibilities of the town’s soccer moms. Still, Baze felt that, as soon as he reached for the box, sitting on the shelf, the judgement of every good person in his life would suddenly be on him. He’d already turned down the help of an employee, the second he’d walked through the door. They wouldn’t think anything of it, he told himself. There was no specific look that stated, “ _I’m trying to hide that I’m here to buy the first sex toy to ever go in my ass_.”

Baze grabbed the box. It wasn’t all that big a deal. There would come a time when he could be a lot more open about his sexuality- Not that it wasn’t accepted, by those who knew it. Bless his grandmother, she loved Baze for who he was, knowing he was bisexual. But she sure as hell wouldn’t accept any of it, boy, girl, or other going on under her roof. But he was a young man. He had needs.Someday after he’d found his own place, he would look back on his own nervousness and laugh.

It wasn’t that day.

Baze shuffled, wary, towards the counter with his purchase. He’d snagged a tube of lube along the way. The quicker he got out of there, the less memorable he was likely to be to anyone looking.

There was no employee behind the register. Baze internally debated, and almost immediately decided that, should no one notice that he was ready to check out, he would rather put back the items and walk away than call someone’s attention.

He waited for a minute. A nervous feeling started biting at his gut, and he was just about to leave, when a head poked out from behind a shelf.

“I’ll be with you in just a moment.”

There was a grunt, the shuffling of feet, and after a moment more, a boy his age walked up to the register. Baze wasn’t about to make eyes contact, but just at a glance, he’d seen the angular features and soft jaw of the other boy, set upon a pretty face, and framed by whisps of black hair, pushed up high on his forehead. He looked Asian, maybe even of China, like Baze himself. The boy swiped the barcodes quickly, and Baze went to dig out his wallet, cursing himself for not already having his money at the ready.

“So, what size did you get?”

Baze froze. Had the cashier really just inquired about the size of the _fake dick_ he was purchasing? “What?” He said, dumbstruck.

The packaging rattled softly as the other young man shook it a bit. “I’d say about 8 inches. But then, I’ve been known to lie to people about what 8 inches is, you know?”

“ _What_?” Baze’s stomach dropped, til it felt like it would pull his lungs and throat down with it, a tightness down his whole front. He thought he knew how this would go- That anyone who worked here would be used to selling embarrassing purchases, that maybe his large build and stubbled face might get a raised eyebrow or two, and he’d be on his way. He hadn’t expected to be questioned. Surely, the kid knew that was the last thing he wanted to discuss with a stranger?

“Most people just buy these online. But I suppose it’s easier to gauge the actual size if you have it in hand. Good choice.”

Baze’s face burned. He sunk in on himself, chin nearly on his chest, shoulders touching the bottoms of his ears in an unconscious attempt to just hide. “I…. My grandmother opens all mail…” If he weren’t shocked by the turn of events, he might have been indignant, that this stranger was getting into matters that should have obviously been private.

“Chirrut!” The door labelled ‘employees only’ glided open, and out marched another employee- The same one Baze had turned down help from, he thought, but he couldn’t bring himself to look up from the scuffed countertop, his only solidity in something that had decidedly not gone the way it was supposed to.

“You know you aren’t supposed to ring people up!” The other young man chided. He shoved Chirrut gently out of the way of the register, and the boy, Chirrut, went easily, despite the slight difference in size between the two.

“I didn’t want to keep a customer waiting, Cassian. You’re the model employee, you should know that it’s bad form.”

Cassian shoved the box and the tube into a bag, and immediately, Baze felt the tiniest shred of relief- Out of sight, out of mind.

“And it would be, too, to hand someone the wrong change, because you can’t see it. We can’t accommodate a blind cashier. Now please, just go back to stocking.”

Chirrut left, and Baze dared to look up, a cherry red blush still coloring his dark skin. ‘Cassian’ smiled sympathetically at him. “I’m sorry about that. Chirrut’s not supposed to be on register. They accomdate for his vision with braille on all the stocking tags.” He grimaced. “Maybe if he had better customer service skills, they’d at least let him try something else.”

“I heard that!” Came an indignant cry from behind a display.

Baze looked at his total on the screen. “It’s… It’s fine.” He stammered quietly. He tossed two twenties on the counter and snatched up his bag- It was more than he actually owed, but then and there, he would have given any amount of money to be as far away from that store as possible.

Baze turned and walked out, feeling like he certainly couldn’t get any lower.

        ~~~

The weekend found him back at the mall. He should have known better, than to think that he wouldn’t worry about it, subconsciously or not. Baze didn’t realize where his feet were carrying him until he was standing outside the store, looking up at the florescent orange lettering of the sign.

What exactly did his brain think he needed here? An apology? An explanation? To give one, or to receive one? He certainly didn’t think there was anything for him to clear up, yet he felt a pressure to.

Baze’s throat tightened as he saw the same employee through the window. Chirrut, if he remembered correctly. It was completely possible that desire had carried him here not only the first, but the second time.

Now that he actually felt comfortable looking, when he wasn’t _dying of embarrassment_ , Baze could see that his initial, quick and stolen first impression of Chirrut was an understatement- He was beyond pretty. Looking at his was just as confusing as interacting with him had proven to be. His face had such sweet, striking features, a traditionally handsome face that was yet softened at the angles, eyes wide with something a little more than youth. All this, at complete odds with his body. Dressed in high waisted jeans that Baze might call ‘retro’, if he knew the first thing about fashion, he showed off a trim waist, slim, but well muscled thighs that the black denim hugged. And his shoulders strained a tight white tank top, tucked in. It was obvious he was some kind of athlete. Or gym rat, Baze was inclined to think, when he thought on what he knew of the young man’s personality. Chugging protein shakes and working at a stupid gag-gift store while he judged people for buying the sex toys that paid his wages. Yes, thinking things like that made it a lot easier for Baze to hate this Chirrut person.

Which made it a little worse, he supposed, that Baze went in to talk to him, anyways.

Chirrut seemed to know he was there, straightening up before turning and smiling. The same easy smile. Baze stopped in his tracks.

“Hello. I hope you don’t intend on using a return as an excuse to come in. We can’t take those kinds of things back.”

Baze huffed. He did have to quash the smallest hint of admiration, in his chest- Few people had the nerve to be so blunt. But he wasn’t going to let Chirrut get away with that bluntness, so it didn’t matter. “I don’t need an excuse to be in here, but I do have a reason.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “You know, it’s very rude, to do what you did. It’s a very sensitive topic for a lot of people.”

Chirrut’s smile dropped. Admittedly, Baze wasn’t about to tell anyone about this little incident, but if this boy thought he was about to get in trouble, perhaps he would think twice about doing it again. His milky eyes dropped to his hands, and he said, “I know. That’s why I said it.”

Baze frowned. “What?”

Chirrut looked around the store, and for a few seconds, the silence yawned between them, leaving a space that Baze could feel anger start to fill. Then, Chirrut lifted his head and called out, “Cassian! I’m going on my break!”

The other boy, whom Baze recognized, poked his head out from behind a shelf. Baze saw that Chirrut’s ear lined up perfectly to where his coworker stood. Ah. The silence made sense, then. Cassian muttered an acknowledgement, but it was already growing distant as Baze found himself stumbling towards the door by the sudden force of Chirrut’s grip on his elbow, pulling him away.

Chirrut must have known that he was pushing his luck, manhandling Baze like that. As soon as they were out of earshot of any others, his hands fell back to his sides, though he stayed close to Baze. “Honestly… I know a lot of people come in here, really ashamed of buying things like that. I crack a joke, when I can- Once people realize realize that, I don’t know, the wrath of Hell or something will not descend upon them at the spoken word, they have a tendency to relax.” He frowned. “Except that humor isn’t what every person needs. I should have realized that you weren’t amused, and dropped it. That, or maybe I just wasn’t all that funny, and I need to up my game.” He sighed softly. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I’m sorry I made you feel uncomfortable.”

Baze frowned. It all sounded like some sort of elaborate excuse… But the fire in his belly was dying, nonetheless. Despite his head still working it over, his heart felt something that settled it, made it sure that Chirrut was being sincere. He wished he could place it. No one had an ease about them quite like the boy standing in front of him.

“I feel like I owe you. I’d tell you something that embarrasses me… But I can’t think of anything right now.” Chirrut smiled up at him.

Baze couldn’t help but mirror the look. He reached up to push short waves of hair from his eyes. “Must be a nice way to be.” Baze murmured. “Unembarrassed.”

The smile on that pretty face only widened. Another person may have looked manic. Chirrut looked like he was made for the sole purpose of flashing that smile. “I don't think I know any other way to be. Perhaps, if I could get your name, I could ask you to accompany me to lunch? Recompense for any jangled nerves.” The look on his face softened. “And I would like to make sure that you’re… Okay.”

He should’ve told Chirrut that it wouldn’t be necessary. That he was fine. But the offer, the smile… It was all sweet, in a way that made him want to reciprocate each gesture, return the kind intentions. “It’s Baze.” He offered quietly.

“Chirrut Imwe~” The other young man offered. He turned on his heels. “Food court? I’m afraid I don’t have time for much better.”

Baze grunted in agreement. Chirrut started leading them forward, and he was careful to match their paces together. “Do you need…?”

“Help?” Chirrut offered. He seemed good natured about it- Baze was certain he hadn’t offended. “I’m afraid I did leave the store without my cane. If you can just steer me out of the way of any traffic, I would appreciate it.”

Baze nodded, and his hand hovered over Chirrut’s shoulder, and inch away from touching him, but not quite doing so.

The mall was busy, expectedly so for a Saturday afternoon. He tried not to invade Chirrut’s personal space too much, and the fell into a pattern without even having to tell each other about it. A squeeze on the shoulder had Chirrut stopping in his tracks. Sliding his palm and fingers in either direction meant to turn that way. They found a table at the food court with minimal incident. Chirrut made no move towards any of the food choices. Neither did Baze. They looked only at each other.

“You’re going to start asking about my sex life, aren’t you?” Said Baze as he settled in his chair. Two could play at Chirrut’s game of unexpected bluntness.

But Chirrut knew himself as master of this game. He simply smiled, and took it in stride. “I think it’s only tangentially related to your sex life? It’s more about your life-life.” The young man’s smile dropped. “You did mention being uncomfortable with the subject. Are there… A lot of subjects you wouldn’t feel comfortable talking about? Maybe at home?”

Baze quirked an eyebrow. “Do _you_ frequently discuss… Marital aides in your home?”

“No. What I do talk about, though, is my sexual orientation.”

Baze blinked owlishly at the boy across the table. “Oh. You’re worried that I was upset because my family is homophobic?”

Chirrut frowned. “I don’t think anything could possibly make me feel more awful than knowing I joked about… Something that would make you feel unsafe.”

He shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. My grandmother is well aware that I… Uh, like men and women. She’s okay with it. She’s a little old lady who doesn’t want any of it going on in her house…. But otherwise, she is supportive.”

Chirrut nodded. “That’s a relief.”

“What about you?” Said Baze in return.

The other boy frowned. “What about me?”

“You said you make your orientation known. Are people okay with it?” Baze clarified.

Chirrut actually seemed to consider it for a moment, and Baze felt something twist in his gut, unable to keep a frown off his face. “My mother disapproves of the possibility of not having grandchildren, but in the end, they accept it.” He leaned back in his chair, grinning. “From me, they have learned to accept a lot.”

Baze nodded. “Well, depending on your orientation, that may still be an option…” Somehow, that had sounded a lot more subtle a hint, in his head. They weren’t hiding much at all, in this little conversation. He should have just asked Chirrut if he was attracted to men.

The young man simply hummed in agreement. “As I keep telling her- Adoption is always a possibility, as well.”

Baze nodded. “We should get some food, before your break is over. I’m sure they don’t give you very long.” He made a move to stand, and Chirrut’s hand shot out, finding Baze’s with unnerving accuracy. His heart skipped a beat in time as the other touched him, grinned up at him.

“One last question- Should I be worried that you call it a marital aide? I would hate to think that you have someone, but they are leaving you unfulfilled enough to buy that thing~”

This was the new theme of Baze’s life- Every time he walked away from Chirrut, he could only realize that he was further and further in over his head.

 

        ~~~

“Baze! Get out the good cups for tea, for your company~”

Baze smiled softly. He lost count of how many times his grandma had said that, in his lifetime. It wasn’t as if it had much a of a solid meaning, either- There were many different tea sets in the china cabinet in the dining room, each coveted by his gran. They were all her ‘good cups’.

Still, he would oblige her, as he always did. There seemed to be a loosely based pattern of which set came out for which type of person- The bold, black and silver embossed pot, and matching cups with teal inside came out to impress the younger generation with its modern look. Intricate red with gold inlay came out for family.

But the set Baze pulled out… It reminded him of people his grandfather used to work with. People who would take the navy glazed cups easily, sit back, and smile at then-little Baze. Make him feel just as welcome in the room as they were. They had stark white, round petalled and simple flowers painted on the handleless cups.

If anything seemed right for Chirrut, it was the thought of someone who smiled with ease and lit up a room. He set the pot and cups, the cream carafe and the sugar bowl on the serving tray.

It wasn’t long before Chirrut was walking up to the door. Baze intercepted him before he could even ring the doorbell, pulling him away from the window for a quick peck on the cheek. For all Chirrut’s bravado, and suggestive talk, they had been taking things slow. And yet, it had to be the most intimate feeling three weeks of Baze’s life, just taking in every little bit of Chirrut.

He looked down at his boyfriend’s clothes- He hadn’t quite said it, but he had worried about what the other would wear- Chirrut’s collection of novelty tee shirts surely wouldn’t be suitable to show an over protective parent, but Baze hadn’t been sure that he owned anything else. He cleaned up well, though, in a pastel blue polo shirt and neatly pressed, but modern cut khaki pants.

“Who are you and what have you done with Chirrut?” Baze murmured against his cheek.

“Don’t worry- He’s available, by request.”

Baze led him inside, where they were immediately greeted by his grandmother. “Come in, we were just about to get the tea ready~” She said as she closed the door.

“Oh, good. May I help?” Chirrut offered his hand to her, and he clasped the other around it gently when she took it. He smiled at her, and Baze was glad to see that he wasn’t the only one whom the look melted. “I really must take the first opportunity I can to prove myself a gentleman. And every one after that, but the first is important, right?”

Gran Malbus chuckled. “I like to hear that. If you’re going to do that, I might as well sit down, then. No point in keeping the old woman on her feet, when the young ones can do the job. Baze, you show him where everything is, and help him, okay?”

He nodded. “Okay, nǎinai.”

She patted his back. “My Baze is a good helper, he is.” Because he really needed to be made any more uncomfortable, Baze thought to himself. Chirrut grinned like an idiot, and he made a mental note to get back at him for it, when they were alone. Their relationship wasn’t based entirely on evening a score… But it was definitely one of the more fun aspects of it.

He gently guided Chirrut’s hands to the top of the tea cups, showing him their height, so he wouldn’t knock them over, where the handle was on the pot. It made Chirrut’s smile soften.

Baze led him into the living room, waiting until Chirrut sat to take his place next to him, a carefully measured distance of couch cusion and overstuffed decorative pillows between them. It didn’t take long for Gran Malbus to decide Chirrut was up to snuff, though she took her time making sure her grandson was sufficiently embarrassed, and chided for not bringing Chirrut home sooner.

When he mumbled that it hadn’t been so long since he and Chirrut had met, she frowned and set her tea aside. “Is that so? But you two seem to go so well together. I had thought you had a class together.”

“I actually don’t attend the same college as Baze, ma’am.”

Baze clenched his jaw- Oh, no. He could feel it in the air even before his grandma asked. “How did you meet him, then?” He hated to make Chirrut lie for him, but if the name of that cursed store even left his lips, he wasn’t sure he could stop himself from _strangling_ Chirrut.

But of course, always a step ahead, Chirrut spoke before Baze had much time to worry. “I have a job at the mall. And, oh, the boy wouldn’t stop pestering me at work~”

Baze smiled, relaxing a little. Still, with an opportunity presenting itself, he eagerly took it. “Nǎinai, Chirrut actually brought over some assignments to work on. I don’t mean to cut tea short, but may we…?”

She waved her hand. “ _Asking_ to do your homework? Of course you can. Clear the table, if you need.”

Baze stood, pulling Chirrut up, and his grandmother’s hand caught his elbow, gentle. He looked down to her, and she smiled knowingly back.

“Baze? If you go to your room... Keep your door open?”

**Author's Note:**

> Ah, Grandma Malbus, you old... Plot device...


End file.
